My little monster is really, really tired today. So that his normal, and sometimes cute, - trying to stay awake because there are really cool things to look at in this world - routine becomes an epic battle to let me know that looking at the world right now is most certainly NOT what he wants to be doing, but that he isn’t sure how to stop and he wants me to fix it NOW.
It’s times like this – when he is looking at me, desperately hoping that I’ll be able to fix it and going through a case of the sup-sups – that I realize how alive and real he is. You don’t normally think that a being who has just come into the world should be able to act like a person just yet, but wow. Samuel cries and poops and eats just like you would expect, but he cries to be held and stretches languorously after he wakes up and gets the sup-sups when he is miserable – just like any ol’ adult who understands exactly what he is doing. And it is times like those that I’m really impressed with this being who still gets surprised when he manages to make weird sounds like ‘ga’.
I guess that what is so surprising is that just 6 weeks ago he was still in my belly, only able to get my attention by a well placed head-butt. He didn’t cry, he didn’t eat, and he didn’t poop – all things that living, real people do. And yet, he couldn’t have been just a head-butting nonentity. People don’t just all of a sudden become real, living people the moment they are born. It had to have come on before that. Maybe some of those hiccups I felt while I was pregnant were sup-sups, maybe some of those head-butts were happy stretches after he’d had a good sleep, maybe he was wedging himself between my pelvis and ribs so he could feel like he was being held.
So the question enters: When did this blob of cells become real and alive? When did he get the ability to enjoy a good stretch? And when did he get the ability to trust me even though he is miserable, such that he gets the sup-sups? How is it that this tiny, ignorant being should know enough that he knows he wants to be held?
Wow. What an amazing miracle life is.
9 comments:
Way to look on the bright side of a crying whining baby.
Good luck with figuring it all out. Let me know when u do and I'll make millions off of U!
Mm.. apparently I'm a little worldly :-)
what are sup-sups?
ummm...sup-sups...So, after you have been crying really hard and are starting to calm down again...you get this funny half hiccup half sob thing when you breath in...sup-sups...doesn't anyone else use that word?
I knew exactly what you mean by sup-sups, but we called them sub-subs. i think i like the "p" better for writing it out though. Anyways, I hope things are going better for you and little sammy. Once he learns to smile and such will he become more real/alive?
Probably not until he is taking care of his own pooping, eating, crying monster.
After experiencing a birth how could you not believe in God? I am always amazed that each child comes out so different, with their own personalities. It proves to me that spirits are much older than these new little bodies they are in.
Heidi, I think Emily is wrong, we called them sup sups too.
That's so funny that Sarah didn't know what they were. Its all in the family. We got it from Grandma!
sometimes we forget that these babies are people - trust me - the older they get (try 17!!) - they remind you ... independent people we get to hug and kiss on for just a little while ...
and we call it the sup-sups in this house ... must be a rick's thing!
Are you familiar with Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block? I'm on a mission to make sure all new parents know about this godsend. Get the DVD pronto if you haven't alreay seen it.
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